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Tuesday, September 11, 2007
The Bible and Polygamy I spent last year trying to live according to the rules and customs of the Bible. And a few months in, I decided that if I was really going to commit, maybe I should take a shot at polygamy. It's a huge theme in the Old Testament. Polygamy was, if not the norm, completely accepted in early biblical times. Jacob had two wives (and two concubines). King David had eight. Solomon holds the record with an impressive seven hundred spouses. Things, of course, have gone sour for polygamy since then. This morning, I was reading about a particularly dark side of polygamy -- namely the (alleged) sleazeball and (accused) megalomaniac Warren Jeffs, the head of a breakaway Mormon sect who is said to have seventy wives. He's going on trial this week for, as the Times puts it, being "an accomplice to rape in arranging polygamous marriages between under-age girls and older men." I never spoke to Mr. Jeffs during my year, but I did do some research on modern-day polygamists to see how it works. I was surprised to find out there is a small but passionate Jewish pro-polygamy movement. Ashkenazi Judaism officially banned multiple wives in the eleventh century, when the great European rabbi Gershom ben Judah laid down the one-spouse-only law. But you can still find a sprinkling of ultra-orthodox Jews who want to return to the old days. They argue the rabbinical ban was instituted not for moral reasons, but for practical reasons -- the Jews didn't want Christians to be jealous of their cushy domestic setup. Here's the website where you can order a booklet about it for just $15. I also spoke to a prominent Christian polygamist. I said multiple spouses is an interesting concept, but how could I convince my current wife, Julie, that she should let me take on a second wife? His suggestion: The preemptive strike. He told me to find a second wife, perform the ceremony, consummate the marriage -- THEN tell my first wife. That way it's a fait accompli. And my first marriage has a better chance of surviving than if I go all wimpy and ask for permission. Hmmm. Sounds about as wise as the time my dad gave my mom a smoke detector as an anniversary gift. I asked him if the strategy wasn't a bit sneaky and un-Biblical. His reply "It can end up being more cruel to put a wife through a year, five years, 10 years of worrying that you're going to take a second wife." He then asked if I had a prospective second wife. I told him that our nanny is cute. (My wife agrees. And she's given me permission to have an affair with her, a la Curb Your Enthusiasm. Of course, Julie gave me the offer only because she knew there was no chance the nanny would ever be interested. It's like giving me permission to become a linebacker with the Dolphins). The polygamist thought this was a good idea. It would give me a nice, practical line of reasoning with my first wife -- we wouldn't have to pay the nanny bills anymore. In the end, I ignored his advice and I did ask my wife for the green light. And in the end, as I suspected, she put the kibosh on it. I was forced to stick with the conventional single spouse. The weird thing is, in the past few months, Julie has become quite tolerant of polygamy. Just not in my case. She's addicted to HBO's Big Love, and says it's made her see how the arrangement could work for some people. More emotional support. Readily available backup babysitters. And, as Julie just put it to me: "Chloe's character is good at fixing things so if you marry someone incompetent (no naming names), one of your sister-wives can help you out." At the end of my conversation with the polygamist, he became quite agitated. He was talking about persecution of fellow polygamists, and how they are put in jail next to criminals and homosexuals. He pronounced the word 'homosexual' with the venom most people reserve for war criminals or Dick Cheney or Crocs. Apparently, polygamists aren't so tolerant of other types of sexual behavior. Perhaps he should take a lesson from my wife, who thinks polygamy should be legalized, as long as all the parties are consenting adults -- and who is also completely open-minded about gay sex. Though as with polygamy, probably not within her own marriage. In other news, a couple of nice previews have appeared for The Year of Living Biblically in The New York Daily News, New York magazine and American Way magazine. I did a guest-blog gig at my friend Penelope Trunk's great blog, The Brazen Careerist Plus, I'm part of this program called Amazon Vine, where they send advance copies of the book to a handful of respected Amazon reviewers. I've been loving the reviews. I was especially touched by the reviewer who wished my sons happy birthday on August 24. Thank you! I'm glad I fessed up in the book to reading my own Amazon reviews so that they knew I'd see it.
posted by A.J. Jacobs at 1:32 PM
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5 Comments:
Your wife sounds very wise...will she be on your book tour with you? I'd love to see her responses to your ideas first-hand :)
Sorry...but you miss the point of the Holy Bible..It is not a rule book! The ten commandments were given to show mankind how sinful we are and the need for a Savior..After the fall of Adam and Eve, no man/woman can go without sinning while they are in this body..The Holy Bible is the Good News Gospel about Jesus Christ and how his death/resurrection fulfill the ten commandments and made us right with God..Through faith in Jesus and His Grace we have salvation and not by following rules or doing works...
Polygomy was never a command, was it? In fact, the New Testament talks about having just one wife (1 Tim 3:12) and other scriptures in the NT talk about love your wife not wives.
About the bible book...did you totally ignore the New Testament? Don't you realize that when Jesus dies, he naile the Law to the cross? So you weren't actually following all of the Bible Laws, because there aren't any. Like tithing...Mark 12:41-43 "Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others." She put in much more than 10%. Following the bible about giving to the needy means that even the needy give to the needy. You don't give out of your surplus.
Did you go out and heal people?
Did you preach the Kingdom?
Did you love your enemies?
What about the "rule" that you must have faith in Jesus? Or you must love God with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength? Did you do that? No, because you can't love God by following the old law. You love God by following Jesus and obeying God.
How about Colossians 3:8 about obscene talk, this being mentions after talking about sexual appetite, anger, and such? Did you follow that? With your wife, did you ever speak in a vulgar way about sex. Oh, yeah, you sdid, when you talked and thought about the nanny, even if it was just a joke.
Did you look at a woman lustfully and gouge cut your right eye?
You were supposed to follow every rule of the bible. Maybe I'm wrong. If you only meant you were going to follow the Old Testament, I can understand why you would not totally believe in God after that. For one thing, it didn't involve your heart. For another, the Old Testament points to Jesus. It was the Law, but when Jesus came and died, the Law was fulfilled. And now the law can be on our hearts. Not the Mosaic Law. Matthew 5, specifically, talks about the Law and how we should do even better than the Law. Not just to 'Do not murder', but not to even be angry with our brother. The new law is simple. Love. Everything is motivated by love. God is love.
Where is Jesus in the book? Maybe you should do a year of following Jesus, New Testament style. Of course it would be interesting, but if you don't let Jesus in, it won't do any good.
At any rate, it is an intersting concept to follow the old laws of the bible, even if it isn't God's desire anymore.
I would encourage you to take a serious look at Jesus. It seems hard to follow him, but when you let your "old man", or false self, die, and let Jesus live through you, it is miraculous. The most fulfilling life you could ever have.
lol, looks like the previous commentator has some strong feelings there.
I'm loving your book so far. I'm an atheist who's tried some restrictive self-improvement program ala Ben Franklin's experiment... and I loved reading about your experiences with being 100% honest.
I found that watching for lies or gossip really quieted me down, but it also took away my spontaneity. I became an even duller person (which most people were shocked that could even happen).
Anyway, keep up the good work! (writing excellent books, not subscribing to religions ;)
I'm glad you didn't try polygamy. My great grandfather is the son of a Mormon polygamist. I have his journal online if you're interested in some of that sad tale.
http://celestialfamily.org/index.php?option=com_tng
http://freephilosophicaldiscussions.blogspot.com/2007/09/polygamy.html
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